The Best Dress

I know, today was supposed to be my "Saturday Slack Day." But I was so tired after the Masonic cocktail party last night that I dropped into my bed and fell fast asleep, and alas, did not get to my blog. The regretful part of the story, however, is that I had something I really wanted to tell you!

But no regrets, I'll tell you now!

Yesterday, as the kids and I were eating lunch, I was going over our list of errands. "So we need to go shopping. Daddy needs a tie for the dinner thing tonight, and I need a new dress. This thing is fancy." To which Asher responds, "Mom, you know what the best kind of dress for you to wear tonight would be? The kind that you already have!" Touche, my love.

Nevertheless, I spent an hour with kids in tow trying to find a nice cocktail dress that didn't cost a fortune, but looked like it did... to no avail. I came home empty-handed (except for the two dollar tie from The Sal, and a pair of like-new Nine West camel knee-high boots that I adore and got for ten bucks). But no dress.

So I ransacked my closet. I whipped out everthing that I have ever worn to a wedding or cocktail party or graduation or concert. NOTHING seemed suitable. I was getting stressed out over this thing. The old comic line came to mind, "If I can't find something nice to wear, then I'M NOT GOING!"

Finally, with a bed completely smothered in clean clothes and an acceptible (albeit not perfect) possibility in mind, I went out front where I often enjoy hanging with my neighbors while watching kids run amock on the court. My amazing women friends (reliably, once again) helped me find my ground.

After telling them about what Asher said earlier in the morning, we began talking about the lies women often believe... a topic one of my friends happened to be speaking about that very evening. It got us going on the myth that we have to look perfect all the time, have the right clothing and the right "look" in order to be accepted.

By WHOM, really? Who are we trying to impress? I mean, I am all for a little makeup and fun clothes that make me feel good. But should I really be taking it to the point that my blood pressure is rising because I don't have the perfect outfit for a fancy mixer?

So I went to the cocktail party in one of my old standbys, a maroon wrap dress with cream colored bursts spattered across it (kind of a seventies throwback) and my new camel colored high heal boots. I threw on a little mascara and a bracelet and was good to go.

I'm sure I stood out like a daisy in a bed of roses. Every other woman there was in black! It was like a funeral! But I quickly put my dress (faux pas? Maybe. Who cares.) out of my mind and began to do what I do best... mingle and meet new people! I engaged in many conversations with all kinds of folks.

At the end of the night, as my hub and I were saying our goodbyes, an older gentleman touched my arm and said, "I have to meet you before you leave. Your laugh is incredible! Make sure this guy (gesture to my hubby) brings you along whenever we get together!" I shook his hand and told him it was a pleasure.

I wore a genuine smile, an honest interest in what everyone had to say, and baubles of laughter. In the end, nobody noticed that I was wearing the "wrong" dress.

Last night my son's words taught me a valuable lesson about a way of being in the world that takes most people a lifetime to realize. I will hold them close to me whenever I start to feel stressed out over superficial things.

The best dress for the evening really was the one I already had.