My Life

Over the last few days, I have relaxed about the money situation.  It kind of goes that way with us... the ups and downs.  It's what makes life interesting, I guess.  I once asked Jason's grandmother, whom had been married to his grandfather for over sixty years, "What's the trick?"

Jason's Grandma with my kiddos.

She answered, "Don't talk about money.  If you have some, great.  If you don't, you'll get some soon enough."

I like that rule.  It's a good rule.  Every time I look at her picture on our refrigerator, I think of these words and thank her.

So, I promise I will no longer panic about money... and instead follow grandma's rule for a happy marriage.    

Often times real wisdom comes not from a book, or a link on the internet, or through the advice of an expert.  It comes from someone who has lived, experienced, loved... and who is close to us.  

I have been told recently by a friend that sometimes we need to break free from all of the "manuals" and self-help books, parenting books and well (or not so well) intended experts and self-proclaimed gurus... and just trust ourselves.  Trust our instincts.  Do what we know feels right, and don't worry about what people out there in virtual world (or reality) think about how we live our lives.  

I have long since given up reading parenting books... I could have saved a lot of time and angst if I had just listened to my folks, who always said, "Babies don't come with instruction manuals."   Apparently, Barnes and Noble didn't get that memo.  Somewhere along the line, I realized that no one else can be an "expert" on  MY children.  (With the exception of experts on specific medical conditions, of course.)

And even if you did try to plan it all out... the plans change.  Life is more like a painting than a map.  It's more like an overture than directions.  There is no one set way of getting from the "start" to the "end," but there are a million ways to enjoy the ride.

It's my life.  My family's life.  No-one else need live with the outcome, no-one else is held accountable at the end of the line.  That thought gives me peace.  It gives me confidence.

And today... for some reason, all our plans got cancelled... and that's okay.  Perhaps we needed a day to relax, to breathe, to work in the yard and do art projects, catch up on chores... to enjoy the music.  I don't need to fill up my days to have a full life.  I don't need to fill up my children's time to make sure they are learning.

Today, in this moment, these thoughts give me peace.